This wasn’t that bad at all. I had more than a few belly laughs this time around. I think the more the country turns away from the facade of ‘hope and change,’ the more the comedians feel it’s safe to use all the jokes they’ve probably written but were afraid to tell.
*Update. Partial transcript H/t Noel Sheppard:
FRED ARMISEN AS PRESIDENT OBAMA: Good afternoon. Roughly sixteen years ago in 1993 and ‘94, a newly-elected Democratic President Bill Clinton working with the Democratic majorities in both the House and Senate attempted to pass the first serious health care reform in a generation. Predictably, the forces of the status quo went into action. The bill was attacked relentlessly. Unfairly distorted and became so unpopular it was finally abandoned. That fall of ’94, the Democrat Speaker of the House was defeated in his own district and the Republicans took over both houses of Congress. I am here today joined by House Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid to tell the American people this is not going to happen again. Now, polls may show the healthcare reform bill currently before Congress to be surprisingly unpopular.
KRISTEN WIIG AS NANCY PELOSI: They really don’t like it.
WILL FORTE AS HARRY REID: I thought it would be much more unpopular. Much more popular, excuse me.
WIIG: I was stunned.
ARMISEN: All the same. It is not going to be abandoned. It is a good bill. A good bill hat we have perhaps failed to properly explain. Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Reid have assured me that unpopular though it may be in the days ahead, this bill will be passed by both the House and Senate and sent to my desk for signature. Finally, after decades of effort, we will have real healthcare reform even though as I have said, it may not be popular. Or viewed favorably by Americans. Or what the people want us to do.
Naturally the same forces that fought reform sixteen years ago are back trying to convince members of Congress that a vote for this legislation is political suicide.
[rest of the transcript here: NewsBusters]
When a group of poker players sits around a table, the pressure is on. The blinds have been placed and the pocket hands prosperity bank texas dealt. Each player looks at his or her cards and watches each other, wondering what each hand holds and where the game is going. Everyone is anxious to win, attempting to maintain their control against the increasing excitement of the game. The betting ensues and the flop is revealed. The excitement dies for some and increases for others. More betting and the players are wondering if they’ve bet too much, or too foolishly. Other wonder if they bet too little or shouldn’t have bet at all. Thus the pressure to bet and win often overcomes each player as they make or break their way to the showdown.
Barack Obama’s book, “The Audacity of Hope,” contains a appealing title. It has an idea of bravery mixed with confidence. There is nothing Pollyanna about this. I will not support almost everything he tells, but he’s our president, and then for me, he creates confidence. That may do more for any nation than any amount of backroom deals. Hope gives us energy, and energy sustains us through trying times. Boy, we’ve had them. I’m from West Texas, and I did not vote for Bush. When McCain ran against Obama, I was a citizen of Arizona, but I gave audacious hope a chance. The fight for progress and laying the foundations of prosperity will not be over. I have come across the quips of those that don’t believe Obama is capable of it. But step back a moment. Would anyone have most of us fail only to tarnish the star of an incumbent for whom they did not vote? Keeping our priorities straight, let’s work together with this president and build our future.
God, This is not funny in the least. I guess the live audience thought that stating the obvious was somehow funny but where it the comic conceit here? The second best cast ever would have done a better job to caricature the mannerisms and maybe thrown in something like Closed Captioning for the Politically Impaired read by an Unfrozen Caveman or something, anything to make it more than a guy reading a teleprompter to mimic a guy who reads a teleprompter for a living. How is this show still on? I guess NBC needs something to fill the otherwise empty space between their parent companies wind turbine commercials.